I make my living off the evening news,
Just give me something that I can use.
People love it when you lose,
They love dirty laundry.
Well I could have been an actor,
But I wound up here.
I just have to look good,
I don't have to be clear.
Come and whisper in my ear,
We need dirty laundry.
Kick 'em when they're up,
Kick 'em when they're down.
Kick 'em when they're up,
Kick 'em when they're down.
Kick 'em when they're up,
Kick 'em when they're down.
Kick 'em when they're up,
Kick 'em all around.
We got the bubble-headed beach blonde,
Comes on at five,
She can tell about the plane crash,
With a gleam in her eye.
It's interesting when people die,
Give us dirty laundry.
Can we film the operation?
Is the head dead yet?
Y'know the boys in the newsroom,
Got a running bet.
Get the widow on the set,
We need dirty laundry.
You don't really need to find out
What's going on,
You don't want to know just
How far it's gone,
Just leave well enough alone,
Keep your dirty laundry.
Kick 'em when they're up,
Kick 'em when they're down.
Kick 'em when they're up,
Kick 'em when they're down.
Kick 'em when they're up,
Kick 'em when they're down.
Kick 'em where they sit,
Kick 'em all around.
Dirty little secrets,
Dirty little lies,
We got our fingers in ev'rybody's pies,
We love to cut you down to size,
We love dirty laundry.
We can do the innuendo,
We can dance and sing.
When it's all over we haven't
Told you a thing.
We all know that crap is king,
Give us dirty laundry.
Kick 'em when they're up,
Kick 'em when they're down.
Kick 'em when they're up,
Kick 'em when they're down.
Kick 'em when they're up,
Kick 'em when they're down.
Kick 'em when they're up,
Kick 'em all around.
Kick 'em all around.